Looking for the Truth and Dolphin Watching

Every two years we take a special trip to a favorite vacation spot that we've shared with great friends for many years now. Siesta Key boasts a white sand beach, clear and calm water, and spectacular sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico. I've been there many times and easily settle into the natural rhythm of the place. Every morning I wake up early with the birds and savor my beachfront yoga. On the first morning of our latest trip, I kept wondering if I was seeing dolphins playing off the shore. I wasn't sure because it was hard to distinguish dolphin fins from the little waves that cast dark shadows resembling dolphin fins and tales. On the second day, I found myself looking for those dolphins but still wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me or not. On Wednesday morning, I reached high to the sky in mountain pose, brought my hands together in front of my heart and at the exact moment I opened my eyes and looked forward, a dolphin leaped out of the water and her glittering body showed me that she was quite present with me.

Even though I had that one moment of clarity, I still had a hard time determining between illusion and the true presence of the dolphins.... until Friday. On Friday the water was incredibly calm. I looked out on a flat ocean surface and saw at least 15 - 20 dolphins playing in the water. There was no doubt that those porpoises had a large presence during my morning yoga practice all week long but it had been hard to see the truth when the water was choppy.

In the moment that I realized the dolphins had been with me all week, I thought of one of the most popular yoga quotations used today.... "yogah cittavritti nirodhah." This is a "sentence" from a longer paragraph written by the ancient scholar Patanjali. His Yoga Sutra's begin....

Atha yoganusasanam
Yogah cittavritti nirodhah

The great yoga teacher BKS Iyengar translates the sanskrit phrase in this way....

With prayers for divine blessings, now begins an exposition of the sacred art of yoga.
Yoga is the cessation of movements in the consciousness.

The idea is that physical life can be very tumultuous. Every day we experience all kinds of things that make waves in our lives. Our feelings get hurt, our bodies experience break down and disease, our minds get scattered, and our nervous energy can wreak havoc on every part of our being. Yoga is a practice designed to help us feel more calm and clear so that seeing the truth in our experience of life and spirit is easy and joyful.

Although most people in the US associate yoga with physical postures, that is only a part of the practice. Patanjali laid out 8 limbs of yoga that include:

1. Yama :  Moral code
2. Niyama :  Personal observances
3. Asana :  Body postures
4. Pranayama :  Breathing exercises, and control of prana (life force energy)
5. Pratyahara :  Control of the senses
6. Dharana :  Concentration and cultivating self awareness
7. Dhyana :  Meditation on the Divine
8. Samadhi :  Union with the Divine

I think one of the easiest ways to help cultivate personal clarity is to practice being present in the moment, breathing steadily, and working to cultivate balance and harmony in the many aspects of your being. As always, I wish you well and Namaste!

The Venus Transit

Last evening the planet Venus passed between the Sun and the Earth. This event is one of those circumstances that from a short perspective seems completely random but with focus on the bigger picture it is clear that there is an amazing and intricate order to the universe. As I was looking for more inspiration for my yoga classes based on the Venus transit I came across quite a few really good articles. Just do a google search on the Venus transit and you'll come across all kinds of really cool science bits and soulful symbolic insights. I found Cathy Pagono's article on astrology.com to have the perfect blend of science and insight that always holds my attention.

Because the planes of Earth, Venus and the Sun are aligned, we get to see this rare transit of Venus, which happens only four times every 243 years. The spacing between these planetary meetings is very uneven: first it takes 121½ years to happen, then 8 years, then 105½ years, then 8 years again. The last transit occurred in June 2004 and after this June's planetary dance, there won't be another meeting for 105 ½ years, in December 2117. Venus naturally has an eight year cycle, forming a pentagram during its cycle. This is the planet that ancient astronomers used to measure our cosmos. So Venus is the measure of our solar system.

So scientifically the Venus transit across the sun sparked the question and provided the information needed to measure our solar system and like most natural events, people have added great symbology to it. Venus is the symbol for pure love and the feminine aspect of the divine. In Cathy Pagono's article she states clearly Venus' gift to us is Love. As Venus passes in front of the Sun she is "activated" by the potency of the sun's heat and light. This is recognized as a time of the feminine aspect of nature coming more to the forefront in order to bring a better balance to the patriarchal society that has dominated for so long.

If we think about this concept we can clearly see that the patriarchal system is crumbling apart all over the world! I've felt this in my personal life as well. As things have begun to settle I realize that the crumbling apart can also be viewed as the ground giving way to allow new growth. We can work to hold on to whatever it is that we've already created or we can surrender and allow the new growth to place naturally and gracefully.

In our individual beings we might hold on to patterns of movement or thought. We might hold on to old habits, ideals, or expectations that once served a purpose but are no longer functioning. I can't help but hold the famous quote by Joseph Campbell in my mind.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Check out the rest of Cathy's article here. I thought the last two paragraphs were very powerful and we'll be using them as food for thought in tonight's class.

If we lived in a society that looked to the heavens for meaning, June 5th’s second transit of Venus across the face of the Sun would rock the world as a sign of hope for the future. And there would be hope if enough people accept responsibility for letting Love lead the way. Imagine a world where Love was the basis for life’s decisions! Not an unconscious love, but Love as the awareness of our connection with everyone and everything, coming through our imagination and intuition. Love as a foundation for life’s choices and decisions based on a belief that what I do to another I do to myself. Love places us back in the cycle of Life, where we are one and whole.

 That belief is the polar opposite of patriarchal thinking, which configures us as separate and imperfect. Every man for himself! Even though patriarchy has tried to suppress the more feminine right brain holistic view of life, women are often quite adept at operating out of both brains, basing their decisions on right brain connective love and using the left brain to make it so. It actually works quite well! This transit is attuned to our right brains, so ask your analytical left brain to stand down, open to your imagination and see what you discover.

Leaving with Grace ~ My Anusara Resignation Letter

Dear John (or whom it may concern?),

It is with a full heart that I resign from Anusara-(circle-r).  I held out as long as I could in good conscience. I was hopeful that Anusara could move forward with integrity. As so much of the inner business workings have been revealed, I realize that my current of grace is clearly flowing in a different direction and so I must go.

I stayed as long as I did out of respect for the method that DID bring so much goodness, light, health, and happiness into my life. I stayed out of respect for you too. You brought Anusara to life. In doing that you helped so many people in so many ways. I will be forever grateful for the experience that was Anusara at it’s best. I experienced a positive transformation in my own life and was inspired to teach so that I could help others also experience greater joy in their own being.

I am most saddend by the fact that it appears that you were perpetuating the very things that so many people were trying to heal from. Behind closed doors you were dividing rather than uniting. I don’t believe you were alone in creating “the debacle.” I’m not here to blame or judge but I do believe you had many opportunities to stand up, take responsibility in a more public way, apologize, and do something real to make amends. Without you even asking, I forgive you. I can do this because through Anusara you helped me plug into my heart. I just wish you hadn’t lost the connection to yours.

With gratitude, forgiveness, and hope for healing,

Kathleen Noble 

Spread a Little Joy

At the moment I can't get the Philly Cream Cheese song out of my head. It's a good song to have in my head though.... "spread a little love today.... spread a little love my way... spread a little somethin' to remember.... spread a little joy.... and see a little happiness to be...

 Here's the link to listen for yourself if you like. 

I got to thinking about the idea of spreading joy yesterday as I chaperoned a field trip yesterday. My daughter's primary school violin group went to a senior center and then to a homeless shelter to bring a little lively music around town. As I expected, the seniors absolutely loved them. It was so fun to watch them sway to the music and smile at each other! What I didn't expect was the change of mood and energy in the homeless shelter. We entered the main area of the homeless shelter and walked past a few men sleeping on the benches and a couple of guys just sitting - in contemplation perhaps? I wondered if anybody would really appreciate these young kids with violins. Then the music began. People walked in from other rooms to see what was happening. Most of the men sleeping or daydreaming sat up and paid attention. The room filled quickly and the mood changed dramatically. The audience had smiles on their faces and some were tapping to the beat. Then the kids were asked to tell their names to the group. With the telling of names of these 7 - 10 year olds, came giggles, silly voices, and some energetic body and facial expressions. Just by sharing a little of their own joy, these kids brought a smile to some of the saddest faces I've seen in awhile. It was a gift to watch that happen and a great reminder that some of the best gifts in the world are the simplest - a smile, a giggle, simply sharing something you love.

I woke up this morning and saw this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh...

"When you feel overwhelmed, you’re trying too hard. That kind of energy does not help the other person and it does not help you. You should not be too eager to help right away. There are two things: to be and to do. Don’t think too much about to do—to be is first. To be peace. To be joy. To be happiness. And then to do joy, to do happiness—on the basis of being. So first you have to focus on the practice of being. Being fresh. Being peaceful. Being attentive. Being generous. Being compassionate. This is the basic practice. It’s like if the other person is sitting at the foot of a tree. The tree does not do anything, but the tree is fresh and alive. When you are like that tree, sending out waves of freshness, you help to calm down the suffering in the other person."

My experience yesterday and the quote today got me to thinking about practicing and sharing more happiness and joy. The voice from inside said....

"Do more of what you love and  you will be happier. Share what makes you happy and you will be fulfilled." This is exactly how I feel about teaching yoga. I'm looking forward to classes tonight and spreading a little love.

In Defense of Anusara

I suppose I’ve been itching to speak up a certain quote (which has been asked to be removed) has given me the fuel I needed to stand out in the crowd. Although I suppose mine is a voice from the “silent majority,” I don’t think this is what John is hoping to hear. I’m also nervous about the response to my remarks from the VVM’ers – please know I’m using the acronym with respect and appreciation for your revolutionary, "do-better" spirit. I am here, still hugging the midline, taking the middle path, and on purpose too. 

Here's my truth... I don't believe my path is really clear yet. Although many predictions have been offered, I do not stand with a view of the outcome as others have expressed they do. I need a little more time, a little more information, and a little more understanding. Learning patience - that's a gift yoga gave me and I am proud to use it. I don't believe it makes me weak, or vulnerable, or stupid. I am a Taurus after all - I am strong and I am watching for the time and place that I can be most effective.

When this all first came down, I can't say I was surprised. Even though I've been involved with Anusara since 1999 I did not have any sort of personal relationship with John Friend. Rather than call him "my teacher" I called him "my teacher's teacher." Sianna Sherman is the one who found me and sparked my passion for yoga. Perhaps this is why I don't feel as crushed as many others seem to be. I made an effort to take a workshop with John once a year. I also had some warning dreams about John. So, I took my seat at a comfortable distance. I assimilated what resonated with me, offered my gratitude, and then I went on with my life. Perhaps this is why it took me 11 years to move from affiliated, through inspired, to certified just before everything blew up? I'm a busy girl... mother, teacher, artist. This is one of many reasons I have waited to organize and speak my thoughts about this situation. Believe me there is a lot for me to organize and comprehend. My path through "Anusara-world" has been a long and winding one. I have many MANY conflicting thoughts and emotions, as I'm sure many of "the other silent ones" do. I align in some way with most of the opinions that have been expressed even when they seem to be conflicting - or is it complementary opposites balancing each other out. I have an interest, respect, and gratitude for all the voices that are joining together to portray a more complete picture of our community at large. To see many sides of one thing has always been a blessing and a challenge for me. It's hard to make up your mind when you are so open-minded. This is me - please don't berate me for being true to myself.

Because there has been such a call for those of us who have been “quiet” to speak up, I will oblige. This is what I do know... I love Anusara - not John Friend - although I am deeply grateful for all the inspiration and insight he has offered our community. I give John credit for organizing the style and the system - but I also believe that Anusara is "bigger" than John Friend. Just as John taught all these years, Anusara was divinely inspired and simply found her way into the world through him in a process he called co-creation. I imagine this to happen much the same way that the soul of a child finds their way into the world through their parents - but is not "of their parents."

Anusara changed my life for the better - I know this! Anusara Yoga is among one of the greatest blessings in my life and I'm just not really sure I'm done with her yet. Anusara Yoga helped me move from pain to grace and ease. It helped me to be a more positive, proactive, kind, confident, compassionate, understanding, open, wise, and friendly person. As I believe Anusara to be bigger than John Friend, I believe she is ready to transcend him if she gets the support and the outlet she needs. Look at the way she is working through others to wrestle herself away from John. John is holding her steady in his chains but I'm not so sure he has the capacity to hold her forever.

I also haven't spoken up because I think it’s important to offer solutions if you are offering criticism and until now, I haven't been exactly clear about how I would like this to resolve. I was never 100% happy with Anusara but it was always better than any other option I had. I didn't resign because it was not an empowering choice FOR ME. I see that it was for many others and I respect everyone for following their heart. I stayed not for John Friend but because I had, and continue to have hope that the style of yoga that I need and love can transcend John Friend. Don't mistake my devotion to the style for devotion to John Friend. I stand here in the wings, sensitive to the way that things are aligning. I haven't been more involved simply because of personal circumstances. I stand out here in the outer rim continuing to do what I have always done which is to serve those who I come into contact with my full heart. I am teaching the same as I always have.

When the news first broke, I felt the earth shake. I felt myself on the middle of a fault-line. I watched the community begin to crumble and break apart. I felt like I was standing right in the middle – unsure of which side to jump to. The thing is neither side seemed better than the other and it still doesn’t. So, I continue to stand just where I was waiting and watching for my moment of clarity. I’m ok here. I have a lot more going on in my life than what John Friend does in his free time. I know many of you have already reached a point of clarity. I hope you have peace there and I will be looking forward to mine when I get there. I just don’t have that yet.
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"This is happening to me for a reason bigger than myself." This was my mantra as I struggled through my certification process. Many of the complaints that have been offered about certification process were part of my journey as well. “Challenging” was the most proactive word I can use to describe it. I did receive many benefits through the process but I also doubted my “alignment with Anusara” many, many times. There were two reasons I stuck with it. One – I saw it as the best way for me to serve my local yoga community. That reason is now gone, as I am one of the very few in my area who have not resigned my affiliation with Anusara (public or silent.) Two – when it came down to it- when I wanted to take a yoga class, I only wanted to take an Anusara class. If Anusara is the only one I wanted to take I figured it should be the one I teach.

There is great debate abound about whether it’s “good or not” to participate in only one particular style. For me – it’s important. I have been participating in movement-based classes for most of my life. I have been through tremendous injuries and because of that my body is sensitive. The Anusara style works impeccably well for me and other styles just do not work as well. I don’t believe that Anusara is better or worse than any other style. I just know it has always worked for me. I like being able to go to a class and know that the format, sequencing, and “goals” will be supportive of me.

On the flip side of this I do believe that the expectations of the teachers has become too rigid. In the beginning years of Anusara I felt so empowered, so uplifted, and so inspired. Enter the certification process. I began to feel more and more limited. I much preferred when the Anusara philosophy was a more general alignment with intrinsic goodness rather than the Shiva-Shakti philosophy. To be honest it started to creep me out as Anusara began to feel more religious. I grew up in the Catholic Church, which was led by doctrine and expectation and Anusara was beginning to feel like that for me. There was too much memorizing and much less freedom of the heart.

I stand by the Anusara-style at this time because the alignment principles have worked for me and for so many students. I don’t think they are perfect and I don’t think they apply in 100% of instances as it has often been suggested but they are good! As an athlete, a personal trainer, a group fitness trainer, and now a yogi, I have been exposed to many forms of alignment and muscular action. In my experience Anusara is the most complete and easy to apply method. I stand with Anusara because the teachings of: looking for the good, cultivating harmony by balancing complementary opposites, and the quest for intrinsic goodness, have been some of the most powerful concepts that HAVE brought more grace into my life.

I like sharing these universal teachings in a language that is associated with the Anusara style. I like the alignment principles, the loops, the spirals, the heart language. I like being happy and loving way more than I liked being sad and angry. I like to inspire my students to try to practice with empowering heart qualities. I stand by the style because I like so many of the class components: the time to center, time to come together as a group, inner body awareness, moving from the inner body, dynamic warm-up, the general sequence, the variations of poses, (in the early days) – creative expression of the poses, spiritual inspiration woven throughout the class, an organizing theme (although I also feel like this element has gone overboard), the intention to incorporate wisdom of practice into everyday life. Of course there are more but these are what I look for in a yoga class and in my town rarely find them outside of an Anusara class.

Obviously there are benefits to other styles and I’m glad that those who resonate with those styles have them. Me? I have had Anusara. I really don’t want to lose that. Whether I will stay or go in the near future and whether Anusara finds a way to go on or not, it will always be the foundation of my yogic experience. That is mine – not John Friend’s or anyone else’s. While I’m grateful for the style, I also give credit to many other teachers who impacted my personal growth. I believe that these inspirations from other styles and experiences should also have a place within my practice and in my teaching. I don’t think Anusara needs to be as exclusive as it’s become. I’m going to take Tara Judelle as an example here. I love taking her YogaGlo classes because within the framework of an Anusara class, she incorporated other mind-body-spirit teachings and inspirations that offered the potential for even more exploration and growth. This is how Anusara should be allowed to grow - on her own - rather than being so restricted.
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So, to the resolution I would like to see. I would like to see John Friend be a friend to Anusara and let her go to the world. Let the licensing feature of Anusara go. Let it be it’s own - loosely defined style as it seemed to be back in the beginning…. simple, pure, uplifting, and empowering. Let those of us who love it and want to share it add our voices and the energy of hearts. Sianna put it so eloquently back in the early days of the debacle but I can’t find or remember the exact quote right now. Maybe someone else has it?

Anusara could be much like “power yoga” or “hot yoga” – a style that has some central elements but is open to creative adaptation. Great teachings, offered freely, open to creative exploration…. Principles and guidelines….not rules. Let’s give Anusara her wings. Let the teachers teach rather than be policed. Let us use the name freely with trust that we will uphold her integrity.

As much as I want the name of Anusara to be free, I also think there is a place for Anusara Inc. Use Anusara Inc. to develop training materials and support products for students and teachers. Anusara Inc. could serve as a base of support for the current community and a foundation of growth for a future community by allowing a more open platform. There is plenty of income to be made in good books, products, and other training materials. There’s no reason John can’t continue to make a good living without owning everyone. Grow Anusara Press. Open your doors to support teachers, writers, artists who align with the ideal of intrinsic goodness.

To sit where I am is not costing me anything I have not already paid or pledged. I am not losing any personal integrity in my choice. The last license agreement I signed was way back in 2001 and back then it was very simple. I do know that if the new license agreement comes and restricts my personal freedom, I won’t be able to sign it. I fully understand why so many with more current licenses have left. When my certification was finally approved, in early December 2011, I found myself hoping I would be able to sign the license. I had received the newsletter about the pending license changes and I was worried that there would be too much that I disagreed with and that after all my time, effort, money, and energy I wouldn’t be able to sign it. Getting RYT credentials was a big motivator for me. I felt trapped by the plan set up by Anusara with Yoga Alliance. Certainly John was controlling and limiting upcoming teachers through this agreement. This was among several aspects of certification that I felt was unfair. As I waited for my new license to arrive I actually found myself wishing for a little shakeup. I had no idea it would be this dramatic!

I would like to see a restructuring of an Anusara style on either side of this great divide that goes back to Anusara’s roots. You show me a group that offers what Anusara has offered with personal freedom – I’m there. I don’t really care what side it’s on as long as the focus is on the greater good rather than personal gain.

In Kula Evolution, I saw a group working to create a new structure, I held out hope. I also saw…. What was the other one? There was a group created by some of the “VVM’ers I believe. But I haven’t seen anything happen with that. At the moment, I can’t even remember the name even though I thought it was a great idea at the time. I’ve seen Christina, Darren, + Noah come together but that seems to be their own deal. So where to go? I guess I’ll just stay where I am for now has continued to be my stance. THEN… I read “John’s” most recent letter and my stomach sank. “Disgusted” isn’t looking for the good but it certainly was my first reaction. I really don’t know what to do now. But at 39 years old, I’ve learned for me it’s best to wait until I know what I really want before I move ahead.

I suppose it’s mostly to encourage you to not be to mean or critical of my remarks, I’ll tell you I’m nervous writing this. I’ll also share this story with you to hopefully soften your heart toward me. I was at my 8-year old’s dance recital tonight. My daughter shines in the spotlight. It just comes natural to her. She loves the attention. She plays to the crowd. She is remarkable up there in front of everyone. I love watching her. Next to her was a girl covering her eyes, turning her body away from the bright lights. That is my nature. I’ve worked very hard to get the courage to stand in the seat of the teacher. I’m a good teacher. I’m sensitive to my students. I lead them in a kind way and I encourage them to be true to themselves and to do that which supports them. Sometimes that means stepping out of their comfort zones like I’m doing by sharing this letter with you all today. There may be things you disagree with but please don’t be mean. Listen. We’ve all got something important to say. Some of us are just a little more reserved with our views and our opinions but that doesn’t make us complacent. Me and my daughter – we’re opposite in so many ways, but our love is unbreakable! Just because someone sees things from a different angle doesn’t mean they are wrong. There’s truth in every voice.

A song just popped into my head….

“come together…… right now….. over me

He roller-coaster, he got early warning
He got muddy water, he one mojo filter
He say "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-looking cos he's so hard to see


Come together right now over me

Yeah oh 
Come together
 Yeah come together
---------

With all the fierceness, with all the sweetness, with all the patience, with all the courage, with all...

Wow! We’d be somethin’! wouldn’t we?


Since I suddenly seem to have found a clear voice I’ll also add this about my personal opinions about John. I’ve never been privy to the inner circle. Although I’ve spent at least more than 100 hours with John, I’ve had maybe 10 lines of conversation with him. But in the 13 years I’ve known him, I personally never saw him behave inappropriately. I thought his words to students were almost always kind and encouraging and way above average. Then again – I wasn’t aware of the inner workings and deeper relationships - so perhaps I didn’t catch the subtleties I suppose. My grandfather was a pretty manipulative man so I know that meanness can often been covered so that only the victim knows what’s going on. The only time I ever saw John behave in an unkind way was to Jordan Kirk at the teacher training he shared with Sianna in Cincinnati because he was sick. Jordan did not do something fast enough – I can’t remember if it was the answer to a question or an assist. As soon as he shouted at her, he made a comment to his defense. He said, “if I’m not here to lead, I need people who will step up and take care of Anusara.” I heard a deep concern and fear in his voice about the safety of Anusara. I could tell he was worried “about his baby.” As a mother, I have deep empathy for the safety of a baby. Anusara is in trouble. John if you are reading, or if anyone is reading for him, please convey my true concern. Anusara is in trouble. John Friend is the only one who can save her by letting go of his choke-hold. I’ll stand by her for a while longer. I stand here with the intention of being a guardian of Anusara not an enabler of John Friend. I stand here with gratitude and love for the style, and for her creator, and for all those who have nurtured her along the way. I love her to the depths of my heart. I’m worried for her. I want her to be ok. Outside of the Anusara – drama, I just lost my best, pet friend less than two weeks ago. After fighting cancer for three years and then struggling in a losing battle for the last six weeks, I put her to sleep. The suffering was too great for all of us. I know that sometimes ending a life is the best way to set it’s soul free but I just don’t feel ready to do that with Anusara quite yet. So if you’ve been wondering why anyone could possibly stay with Anusara, I hope that my story will shed a little light on some of us “silent” folks.

The Manifesto Movement

I'm so behind this movement and am basing most of my classes this month on this inspiring "event."
Please check it out and join the fun!
www.manifestomovent.com


Sisters and Brothers,
We invite you to write a manifesto of your innermost truth. A manifesto that becomes a portal to your most profound connection with all that is. Consider what really matters to you, what ignites your soul and beckons you to the depth of your being. Consider what calls you forward with a willingness to state and declare your longing and the vision of your heart.
We hold open this manifesto doorway for all to walk through in voice, heart, mind and body. Everyone is welcome: all walks of life, all ages, all ethnicities, all brothers and sisters as one family of true radiant power. We hold space for your empowered voice. We support your highest and most potent alignment with the creative powers of the Universe. Our vision is to weave a garland of manifestos around the world for the full activation of the life force energy to serve healing and transformation.
This is our Facebook page. where you can interact with each other and write your manifestos. Come to this website whenever you yearn for inspiration. This website serves to hold and document all the manifestos that pour in during this month of May in this year of 2012. Be uplifted by the power of people’s hearts. Remember that true change begins within each and every one of us. Tell your friends and family to share their manifestos with the world. Together our collective voice can raise the vibration of LOVE.
Here’s how you begin.


Write your manifesto in the month of May up to 222 words.
Post it on this Facebook page : www.facebook.com/manifestomovement
Include a photo of yourself that embodies your manifesto and give us a short bio.
This is the Manifesto Movement of May and we await your heart’s declarations.
With great love,
Sianna and the Manifesto Team

Divine Timing and The Art of Racing in the Rain

This week I've really been taking note of instances of Divine Timing. There have been more than a few. I didn't always notice life's little cues inviting me to turn my life in certain directions. I was never very organized and mostly flew by the seat of my pants. I didn't go to college the first quarter after high school because I couldn't make up my mind about what school to go to and what to major in. I didn't choose my major until my third year of college and only chose one because I had to and my teacher told me I would be a great graphic designer. The truth is that probably wasn't the best choice for me although it continues to serve a purpose. I didn't even get my diploma at graduation because I was late with the certificate fee. These are just a few of many mis-steps that probably could have been corrected if I had only paid more attention to life's little cues. Even though they felt like mistakes, I try to make the most out of everything that happens to me so I see their value.

Once again I'll comment now on how yoga has been such great life training for me. Mindfulness practices like yoga and alexander technique really helped me to stop charging so hard through life. When I was charging, I did get a lot done but I was so stressed out that I also missed so many cues that were presented both in my heart and in the world around me. Taking time to slow down and to practice being more mindful and more sensitive is an incredibly powerful tool to expand your inner vision. As we become more sensitive to ourselves we also become more sensitive to the little signs that are constantly presented in our field of vision.

One of this week's synchronicities lead me to read "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein. I have no doubt that this book is one of those life changing reads for me. It's an insightful look at life and death through the viewpoint of a dog named Enzo. One of the many lines that I really loved from this book drove home the value of learning to stay open to our emotions and feel our way through them. So often we feel an emotion and get stuck. We lose sight of the bigger picture and get caught up in a moment in a way that our progress can be shifted off course.

Here Enzo, is experiencing a conversation between his beloved pet parent and his wife.

"I couldn't read their body language because I couldn't see them, but there are some things a dog can sense. Tension. Fear. Anxiety. These states of being are the result of a chemical release inside the human body. They are totally physiological, in other words. Involuntary. People like to think they have evolved beyond instinct, but in fact, they still have fight-or-flight responses to stimuli. And when their bodies respond, I can smell the chemical release from their pituitary glands. For instance, adrenaline has a very specific odor, which is not so much smelled but tasted. I know a person can't understand that concept, but that's the best way to describe it: the taste of an alkaline on the back of tongue. From my position on the kitchen floor, I could taste Eve's adrenaline."

So here we are, constantly influenced by forces within and around us. So often being pushed around by life without even allowing ourselves to become aware of this push and pull of nature. Taking time to slow down and to be more sensitive to ourselves and others is the door to living a more pro-active life. Yoga, meditation, and the simple act of paying attention are great tools to sharpen your awareness so that you can see the cues that life is always offering us on our journeys. You can check out The Art of Racing in the Rain here: http://www.garthstein.com/arr/

With love, kate
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www.flourishunlimited.com

To Live or Die

I haven't been writing much lately... or doing much of anything extra.... because my sweet dog Kaj'n has needed some special TLC lately as she approaches the end of her life. Maybe it's me that needs time with her?

The first sign of her cancer showed up three years ago when she was nine. She was one of a pair. Two dogs that for the first few years were my kids. They gave me the confidence I needed to have children of my own and they gave me a clue of how much love I really had in my heart.

While Chloe was always sick with something, Kaj'n was in perfect health. That is until a little lump started to grow. Everyone said, "It's just a fatty cyst. All dogs get them." But then hers burst open and we had it removed. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time. A year later another one showed up. It grew super fast and again burst open and needed medical attention. This time they also found a mass in her spleen. My husband and I weighed our options. The vet bill was outrageous and she was ten. Maybe it was her time to go. She was clearly not feeling well but she also showed so much pleasure in life and her vital signs were all strong. I wanted the operation. My husband didn't want to pay the bill. We made a deal that he would see if we could find a less expensive vet and if we did we'd have the surgery.

We found a vet who's estimate was less than half. The vet asked us if we wanted to biopsy the mass but we declined thinking that if was cancer we would most probably decline treatment any way. We would just enjoy the time we had left with her. Kaj'n bounced back immediately after surgery. Literally that day she was up wagging her tail, begging to be petted, and excited to take our family walk. Our "family" was complete again for a little while.

Half a year later and out of the blue, I noticed that Chloe had gotten extremely thin. I hadn't noticed she wasn't eating because Kaj'n and Chloe shared everything. Kaj'n was eating the food that Chloe was leaving behind. Three months went by and we lost our Chloe. I once again experienced the pain of watching a beloved pass away. I lost loved ones early in life and I'm the daughter of an orphan so death and loss was always a part of my life experience but when it's so close to you it seems to permeate everything. I struggled hard with the decision to put her to sleep. It was heartbreaking for me. I teach classes to help support women with natural birth and I was hoping for a natural death for my Chloe. On a cold winter day, she went outside to go to the bathroom and collapsed. In that moment I knew that I had already taken away her chance of a "natural" death. If I let nature take it's course, Chloe would have curled up weeks before and slipped away in a drift of snow. It was time to help her move on. It was hard but I was at peace with the choice I made for her.

I'm at that place again. I'm struggling to decide what's right for a soul I love so much. Kajn's tumors kept coming back and we found out that she has a rare cancer which produces massive tumors in her connective tissue. The tumors are like weeds. If you don't get every bit of the root out, they just come back bigger and bolder. We're past the point of surgery even though she has two tumors that probably weigh at least 10 pounds (that was the weight of the last one.) The hard part is that her mind is good. Until this week she was clearly fighting to live. Although she struggles with the weight of the tumors on her back, she pushes through and wags her tail as we walk through the woods. She looks for the sun and the breeze and for any opportunity to be petted and loved.

My heart was breaking with the thought of having to take her to the vet for her final ride. I know she's still strong enough to try to pull me back out the door like she always does. I knew if I took her to the vet, her last moments of life with me would have been in fear. I couldn't do it. So, I nursed her nasty wounds and did what I could to support her. It felt like a blessing when I found out about a woman named Tammy Wynn who changed her life to support people and pets like me. Tammy Wynn started Angel Paws to offer home pet hospice and home euthanasia. I signed up for the service knowing that Kajn's life will end soon and if she seems to be suffering I know it's up to me to release her from that. Her natural death probably would have happened at least two years ago when they took what was left of her spleen. I know that every day since then has been a bonus.

Kaj'n Today - Friday the 13th of April
I thought today would be the day. I thought today would be the day I would call Tammy to come help us move "from pain to peace" as she puts it. But I can't do it today. If Kaj'n has fought so hard to stay alive who am I to end it? It's so hard to know if I'm making the right choice. I struggle moment to moment. I pray for her to go on her own. Right now she's outside laying close to the ground as she's done for the last few days. I keep hoping she'll peacefully pass away. Often she looks like she has. But then I'll peek outside and see her with her face lifted to the sun and I can't help but wonder if our early spring was just for her to enjoy the sun and the breeze and the earth just a little while longer. She looks like she is still enjoying herself in this world. When I walk out and jangle my keys, she'll push herself up and jog as fast as she can under the 20 extra pounds to take a ride or go to the park. If tonight is like most nights, she'll cuddle up next to me and sit with the family as we watch tv or read books. She's still showing signs of life and I'm still wondering how I can support her and do the right thing for her?

Caring for Chronic Back Pain

Experiencing pain on a regular basis can begin to diminish our quality of life. It can also be an incredible guide by helping us to cultivate optimal alignment and a healthy balance between stability and freedom. This dynamic balance can help to bring about greater health and harmony if we listen and follow it’s cues.

Although there is an ultimate body design where all the pieces fit perfectly together and the mechanics of the body run smoothly, very few of us are born or make it through adolescence in optimal form with optimal function. (Ex. My daughter was born without working muscles in her eyelids. It’s a small detail but has a big impact.) Our genetics, our birth experience, our daily behavior and our movement patterns shape us in subtle and dramatic ways. If we can become more aware of our natural tendencies and pre-dispositions, we can create a custom-designed maintenance program to better support our miraculous bodies throughout our lives.

Along with ideal alignment of the skeletal system, there is an ideal dynamic balance of the muscles around each joint. Our daily habits affect this balance so it’s important for us to do what we can to support a harmonious relationship of stability and flexibility throughout the musculature of the body.

I am excited to be presenting a workshop this Saturday, March 31st with Jason Placeway, who is a local chiropractor and also owns a personal training company. 

Here's What We'll Be Presenting


• Discussion on the difference between pain that is experienced because of stability and/or flexibility issues within the musculo-skeletal system, as well as pain caused by misalignment in the skeletal structure
• Help you pinpoint whether you will benefit from stabliity and/or flexibility work (likely a bit of both)
• Checklist to help you decide when to manage pain yourself or when it may be more advantageous to seek help from a wellness professional
• Checklist of what to do when pain “flares-up” 
• We will present a well-balanced maintenance program that most people will benefit from using on a daily basis to keep the body balanced in regards to reversing the challenges that come with many of our modern day habits and movement patterns
• Yoga alignment and therapeutics to incorporate into your daily habits to promote healthy alignment and musculo-skeletal harmony

If you would like more information or would like to register, please visit www.shineyoga.com.

You can also find more info about myself and Jason with the links below:

www.flourishunlimited.com

http://www.mtlookoutchiro.com/about-us.shtml#jplaceway

Luck O' the Irish

Well the last few posts made promises of a wild ride for 2012. That has certainly been the case for me and I'm grateful for a few days of calm here. Today I find myself getting ready for my St. Patrick's day Yoga class tomorrow. I'm excited to be guest teaching at a free community class tomorrow at the Hyde Park Lululemon store. It's really a cool thing they've got going on over there. They clear all the clothes racks out the center of the room and invite a studio of the month to come in to showcase a handful of their teachers. When our studio manager invited me to teach in March, I jumped at the chance to teach on St. Paddy's day. I'm looking forward to celebrating a day that carries such sentimental value for me.

My dad was born on Galway Bay and orphaned at nine. He bounced around with relatives until he was old enough for Catholic boarding school. At 17 he jumped at the chance for a "new life" and enlisted in the British Air Force which took him around the world. He finally landed her in the US in order to live near his older sister. He was a proud American but I always felt like he often wondered about what he left behind. 

Thumbs up - our last parade together.

My dad was involved in the Irish-American organizations which meant that every March we'd be gearing up for the St. Paddy's day parade. Rain, shine, or snow we were there with our Irish eyes a' smiling. (Ah his deep brown, sweet, soulful eyes... I miss them!) 

In typical Irish fashion my dad always wanted to share the stories of his ancestors and of his culture. He was the historian for one of his Irish culture groups and I really wish I would have been more appreciative of those tales when I had the chance to hear them first hand. Now I have to settle for looking through his old notes and books.

What I didn't understand when I was young is what a miracle it is that the Irish race survived! That Irish pride is well deserved! They say that the Irish were lucky but if you look at their situation from another point of view, the Irish race was quite unlucky to have settled in a location that was so easy to invade. The Irish were constantly attacked and oppressed by many different groups. Perhaps there was some luck involved in their survival but there was also a lot of determination and resiliency. As impressed as I am with the survival of the Irish, I am more impressed with the legacy left behind. Although it may include some intense drinking, partying and a little fighting, it is also a legacy of love, laughter, poetry, song, and dance.

I’ll call this ability to experience a full range of human emotion as fullness of heart. I think of the lovers, the farmers, the poets who had to become warriors to defend their right to life. When I think of the Irish spirit, I think of all the ruins left standing across the landscape. I think of my dad's story and know that it is only one of many more even more dramatic Irish stories of overcoming obstacles. I can see the spark in my dads eye. I can still see him singing at the top of his lungs (completely out of tune and embarrassing me to death;-) and I can feel the joy of being lost in the moment amidst an Irish dance.

I also think of the Sanskrit word poorna, which translates to infinite, full, and complete. The idea is that a full life is one that contains aspects of both beauty and tragedy. We can't avoid pain or loss because it is a part of life. But, just like the Irish can be viewed as lucky or unlucky depending on your perspective, we also have the choice to define our own lives and legacies.

May we each breathe into the fullness of our own experience and possibilities. May we find a way to plug-in to our own inner resources so that we may each fully enjoy our lives and find a way to make a positive impact on the world around us. Let us remember that it is possible to come through tragedy with a clear, brilliant, full heart. Here's to all those who have had to fight their way to survive and came out smiling in the end. You are my unsung heroes. Tomorrow I'll be drawing on the possibility of holding space for the lover and the warrior in each of us.

Year of the Dragon ~ The Inspiration Continues

I have had so much fun teaching this week! I've been using The Year of the Dragon as inspiration in my classes which has brought a lot of depth and playfulness to the yoga mat. The Year of the Dragon signifies a year of transformation, but as the Dragon is a divine being, the transformation is meant for the greater good and ultimately to bring greater happiness into the world of form and being. We made happy dragon poses in kids and family yoga, we did dragon push-ups in the mixed-level classes, and explored backbends with balanced action to support the spine and nervous system throughout. With a serpentine form, and often paraded in undulating rhythm, the dragon reminds us that our physical lives will always be full  of ups and downs. As we remember the spirit that dwells in all things and connect to this energy, we can be happy and at peace even amidst turbulent times. Perhaps life is like a roller coaster ride. It's only scary if you let it be. So go ahead... throw up your arms and have some fun. It only hurts if we grip to tight. The Chinese New Year inspiration continues this week with Happy Floating Lotuses. We'll be working on hip openers to release low back tension and free the heart. I hope you'll come check it out. Find my Cincinnati teaching schedule here.

Welcome Year of the Dragon

Today is the lunar New Year aka Chinese New Year. Welcome Year of the Dragon. 2012 is predicted to be a year of transformation. Today is a day for making new moon wishes and new year's intentions. Here's one of mine.

Yoga for Health and Healing

There's been a lot of buzz lately as to the "safety" of yoga. The New York times recently published an article called "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body." As might be expected, there was a huge backlash from yoga teachers everywhere. The truth is that you can hurt yourself in some of the poses if you are: A. not prepared to do them correctly, B. perform them without sensitivity, awareness, and good alignment, and C. even if you are prepared and know what you are doing, you can lose focus and injure yourself. Does yoga wreck your body? No! Can you wreck your body in yoga? Yes. Can you also wreck your body doing ordinary everyday things? Yes!!! i.e. walking and twisting your ankle, falling down stairs, transportation accidents, and so much more.

From my point of view, I think most yoga teachers were upset by the article because so many of us have experienced great health and healing through yoga. Like me, so many of us teach yoga because we want to share the gifts of the practice that have been so incredibly helpful in transforming our lives. We'd all really hate for people to be scared away from something that carries such great potency for healthy and happiness. I wanted to share my story today to demonstrate the healing potential that lies in Yoga.

My "body wrecking" began at an early age. My dad fought his way from Ireland, half-way around the world, to the United States as a professional boxer. As athletic as my dad was, my mom was more artistic. For anyone who sees me in an athletic light, I would say it was only by drive and dedication that I found myself here. My nature is more of the artist. I was a clumsy kid who tried really hard to be an athlete like my dad whom I admired so much. I was ALWAYS hurt. Gymnastics gave me a place to be both artistic and athletic but it also left me with more strains, sprains, and a degenerated lumbar spine (from trying to touch my butt to my head like Kristi Phillips.) When my body couldn't take the demands of gymnastics anymore - at the ripe old age of 15;-) I switched to springboard diving. Landing on the water was a little easier on my body but not easy enough. At the age of 21, as a college diver, I had a silly but severe mis-step off the diving board. I lost my space in the air and landed face first, flat on the water, off of the 3 meter board. I thought I could shake it off, dove again, and landed on the side of my head. I walked out of practice that day in severe pain that I couldn't shake for months. A chiropractor treated me for whiplash and the trainers treated me for strains and sprains throughout my neck, back, and shoulders. I pushed through the season even though I could barely sleep at night. I couldn't look up at the stars at night and it hurt to just tie my shoes. At 21 I felt like 81. 

Even though I pushed through to live a "normal" active life, I was in chronic pain. Finally armed with health insurance, I began the process to feel better. I was diagnosed with a laundry list of ailments: degenerated lumbar spine, two herniated disks, a touch of scoliosis, and fibro-mialgyia. There you go and thank you very much. Medication did not ease my pain. The orthopedic guy told me that surgery would be the only solution but because I was young he wanted me to wait as long as possible. He told me that I was already doing everything that they would have me do in physical therapy. So basically, push through young soldier. 

Chronic pain is exhausting and depressing. I did not want to live this way. I started reading some of the "new-agey" or rather progressive books about healing from chronic back pain. When my uncle told me about the Alexander Technique that he was using to help cope with his "wrecked" back, I went looking for relief. The Alexander Technique was unlike anything I had ever done before. My teacher spoke with a calm, steady, and quiet but powerful voice. She also helped me to be and move my body in this same way. For the first time in my life, I felt what it was to relax. I experienced the healing that lies in deep relaxation. My teacher, also began to introduce the concept of energy-work to me. I was surprised how clearly I could start to feel the energy flow in and around me. If the word "energy" puts you off, maybe you can just think of it as the electrical system of your body... you know.... your nervous system. "Energy" is real folks! Mindful practices like the Alexander Technique and Yoga help you tap into it and then change it. You can change tension to relaxation and chaos to harmony. Ok that's not really what this post is about but there you have it. 

I went through some ups and downs with the Alexander Technique. Some days I actually felt worse but I think it's because I was starting to feel again. When you have chronic pain sometimes it just feels better to shut down. I could feel myself coming alive again in many ways. Even though I hurt sometimes, I knew without a doubt I was healing. 

Around the same time, I began to take Yoga. I didn't really like it in the beginning. It was hard for me to focus. Sometimes I thought it was boring or weird. At the same time, I knew it was important for me to continue. Luckily I soon met some really great teachers who showed me the inspiring and fun side of yoga. I was being read poetry. I was practicing hand stands and backbends again. I was learning more about anatomy and energy and how they work together. I was hooked! And, I was feeling better and better. 

Then I met Sianna Sherman. She subbed a class I was taking and told me about these "loops and spirals" in this new yoga style called Anusara® Yoga. Her teacher John Friend had created this formula to use in all the yoga poses that was easy to remember and would help you "line-up" in a way that would give you a "soft, bright heart, a healthy body, and a clear mind." Sign me up!

So while my Alexander Technique teacher opened the door to healing, Anusara Yoga drove it home and gave me tools to help me encourage healing within myself and in my life. I could now move my muscles to adjust my own bones so that I was aligned in a way that would bring optimum health and harmony. I learned how to cultivate all the qualities I wanted to experience in my life like peace and joy. I was inspired to shift my focus from the negative to the positive and because of that and many more benefits of Yoga, I am an all-around better, healthier, and happier person. 

There are so many styles of yoga and so many teachers out there these days. I do think it's important to look for a style that you like and that feels beneficial to your particular state of being. It's also worth checking out a variety of teachers. Different teachers know different things and teach in different ways. The most important thing is to be sensitive and respectful to your own experience. In all the back talk after the NY Times article there was one quote that stood out to me. "If it hurts you, it's not yoga." We each need to take responsibility for ourselves and have the courage to do what's right for us. Sometimes that means holding back and sometimes that means surging forward. Although we can all learn from each other, our individual truth lies within. This, not whether you can put your foot behind your head, is the real call of yoga.The purpose of Yoga is to know and honor your true-self, as John Friend puts it to "Align with the Divine," and to unleash pure joy, health, and well-being. 

Yoga is good for you! Check it out.

2012 Winter Quote Collection

“You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself.” — Anne Lamott

"It's the small, incremental changes that vault us to a new experience of ourselves... we too can affect the probability of something spectacular materializing by the energy we put into supporting the new." ~Kathy Freston

"...imagine that you are in a rowboat, and everything you do is one push of the paddle. Is it a strong stroke, moving you forward? Or is it sideways or chaotic, leaving you vulnerable to the current? Think of this wellness journey as the rowboat. Once you get the hang of rowing with the current and not against it, in harmony with who your truly are at your highest potential, every move you make will move you forward with greater efficiency. Just follow the rhythm of the current, add to it some of your own muscle, and you'll soon be amazed at how your momentum increases and you start meeting and surpassing your goals." ~Kathy Freston

‎"Whether we're seeking inner peace or global peace or a combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of unconditional openness to all that arises." Pema Chodron

Marianne Williamson

The one good thing about failure is that it makes you consider doing things a different way.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”—Confucius

‎"I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone." Bill Cosby

"One way to ward off cravings for non-nutritional sweets is to add more naturally sweet foods to your diet. Winter roots and squash offer that welcome addition to any meal." ~Terry Walters, Clean Food

"I have the audacity to believe that people everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, quality, and freedom for their spirits...". Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"What you are looking for is what is looking". ~St. Francis of Assisi


“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”―Lucille Ball


Children are not casual guests in our home. (Nor are they our "property." They have loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built. ~James Dobson


Within every person is an in-dwelling consciousness that is magical and wise observing all with a sense of neutrality and observation. When you see through the eyes of this Witness within, you're able to see broader vistas, new perspectives, and choose from a peaceful center rather than a reactive ego. This Higher Self, is ancient and is always connected to Source, greater than our small selves. When this card appears it is a sign to step back and observe, take inventory of your thoughts, and only cultivate the ones that are peaceful and good. -Colette Baron Reid




How to Make a Friend
There are many ways to be a friend. 1) Introduce yourself then let your new friend introduce her or himself. 2) Ask them a lot of questions. 3) Ask them if they want to play.

How to make them become your besties: 1) They cant’ tell your secrets or crushes. 2) They have to be kind and sweet. 3) They need to help you with your problems and help your friends with bullies.
Alexandria (2nd grade)

Prescription:
For Beautiful Eyes, Look for the Good in Others
For Beautiful Lips, speak only words of Kindness
For Poise: Walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn

A Poem for the New Year

For A New Beginning

John O'Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart, 

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming, 

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire, 

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plentitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.